I have BPD. I need someone to love me in my life, but my behaviour only pushes my loved one away?

Are you taking medication to treat your disorder? or getting some kind of counseling? Maybe once you get your symptoms under control you can start to function better and feel better. Are you living a healthy lifestyle, such as trying to eat a balanced diet, exercise on a regular basis, avoiding alcohol and recreational drugs and getting good sleep? All of of that stuff may also help you manage your symptoms.